Ignas Kleden says..

"...suatu gaya hidup telah dikembangkan oleh kelompok orang kaya baru, yang tengah asik-asyiknya menikmati pengalaman pertama dalam hal comfort dan karena dengan adanya periklanan serta pelbagai macam kegiatan promosi, gaya hidup semacam itu tengah ditiru oleh banyak orang yang ingin memperoleh status tertentu dalam modernitas seperti yang diajarkan oleh filsafat modernisasi"

I said like, "see.. I knew it for so long but I don't know how to say it with a proper words without making them offense"

a part of collection and a part of the blue star

"Dia Diam Dalam Tariannya" - Blue Star

The Beatles With Tony Sheridan: Beatles Pop-Hamburg Day

Buku ini segede-gede televisi 14 inchi. Dan aku senang sekali bukan kepalang karena memilikinya :)

when dreams was faded, i remain silent

When I was a kid, I used to think that all the shimmering rocks in these earth was the family of stars, sun and moon above the sky. they just got trapped here on the earth. Just like what we always seen in Armageddon movie. Space's falling long long time ago. I was mesmerize, I thought even skies didn't have that much of stars. the riches star was right under my feet. I walk on the stars, I cried suddenly!

Briefly smitten by the all shimmering stars lay on the land of earth. Sometimes I was dancing because i can't control my mind. I was too happy for having those shimmering rocks. I even think that i was so big and there must be an alien watching me happily dancing to celebrating me as the god of my own fantasy.

But then i get down, my teacher telling us the truth. He said that shimmering stars are the genuine rocks got shimmering by the reflection of the lamps, sun and the moon solely. My heart is broken. I cursed the knowledge after that.

It took approximately a month to get recovered again. I  try to accept the truth and face it with gentleness. So i did. the rest of my childhood i dedicated for the obvious knowledge, arranged by the institutional education or simply a syllabus. I learned everything my teacher said, i believe to them. Besides my mama told me so, that i have to obey the teachers.

Don't expected me being a special one afterward. Particularly a god anymore. No i realized i wasn't. Otherwise i was the dwarf, so little, and powerless. Syllabus had ruined my childhood and all the fantasy beneath my heart. I was becoming introvert, so solitude and kinda comfortable with that loneliness. That state of mine stayed until now. I can fake sometimes, that easy. But it might drained my energy after that. But that's oke, i'd rather be stranger to myself than being the stranger in majority.

The rest of my life i served as a human, a citizen particularly . Committed to do what common people do, compromising to the tradition, abide to the law of the hierarchy. Though I admitted still robbing up the fantasy things just to having me back sometimes. Most of the times are save by the music. I love to get lost from this universe by the transcendental feeling.

Now I had been through so many experiences, reading, and writing. I can say that i've been through half of the knowledge and the bulshit things they teaches me. I realized that there must be a place somewhere somehow that i can be freely being totally me. Without having problem with other people. Aren't we all having different taste of music, different taste of food, different thought about the politics, and whatsoever? Can we just deal to that differentiation rather than forced it as one? Why can't we people keeping our own fantasy and creating it into something without having

The Godmother of Punk

My Magic Mantra! Hail Patti!

Total Eclipse. A love story between Arthur Rimbaud and his boyfriend, Paul Verlaine.

In 1871 a 16 year old French poet, Arthur Rimbaud send a letter to Paul Verlaine with aims that he would help him publishing his poems book. Verlaine was very excited to invite Rimbaud to come to Paris after done reading his two poems. He also allowed Rimbaud to stay in his father in law’s house with him and his pregnant young wife.

Rimbaud was a rude, annoying, and obscene kid. So no one at that house likes him very much. Mathilda, Verlaine’s wife warning Verlaine to not easily distracted by this boy. She afraid that Rimbaud will become a dynamite someday and triggering the devastated of her family. Particularly because Verlaine drunk habit after he lost his job. Mathilda anticipation was right. Eventually Rimbaud and Verlaine relationship rose to a very intimate, even so close as a romantic relationship.

Verlaine had a vision about Rimbaud to become his soul mate. He can clearly see that this kid was different from the other kid, even to his 18 year old wife. And so did Rimbaud attract to Verlaine as well. He thought that he can fit one another to create a masterpiece of poems. Rimbaud seduces Verlaine through his intelligence, genius, and spontaneous side that he can’t get from his wife. When Matilda soon realized about this homosexuality relationship, she threaten Verlaine with asking a divorce. Alas he can’t leave Rimbaud and choose to divorce with Matilda.

Although the movie hasn't clearly depicted of Rimbaud poems itself, but overall the story is good. I found that the relationship between Rimbaud and Verlaine, though tragic was also very natural. They respected each other, and understanding about their hunger to the honest, vulgar, and obscene poems that no one would dare to write it yet at that time.

Besides that, the young Leonardo DiCaprio act was so outstanding. You might often see his roles as a playboy, a maniac, a smart guy or even a smart ass person. But in this movie is different. You are pleased to see his naked and making love with an older guy. What I presumed will mark the Total Eclipse as an important movie to watch. Otherwise of course to fulfill our curiosity about the life of the eminent prefigured surrealism poems, Arthur Rimbaud.

PS: My favorites quotes from this film is..

“Love...no such thing.

Whatever it is that binds families and married couples together, that's not love. That's stupidity or selfishness or fear. Love doesn't exist. 

Self interest exists, attachment based on personal gain exists, complacency exists. But not love. Love has to be reinvented, that’s certain.” 

― Arthur Rimbaud

Does it matters?

I don't have any idea if it is really good for me or whether it is not to let myself sink in this internet. really, i think that this web is such a great world that contains everything that I needed. That every web that linked to another link has something like the butterfly effects and makes me feel like I don't need to go outside to find out all the information so much better than what I've found in the internet. Which I can be more solitude and forget how to communicate with the real human. not only with the human through the internet. 

Blake!

“…excuse my enthusiasm or rather madness, for I am really drunk with intellectual vision whenever I take a pencil or graver into my hand.”  ― William Blake, William Blake